Hi, I'm Justin Bieber and I'm pretty sure everyone knows who I am and what I look like, so I'll spare you the details. My story begins with me and my crew when we traveled to New York City for a gig in one of it's numerous arenas. I had managed to convince both my mother and my manager to go out and explore by myself.
Despite their protests of my inability to go out alone, somehow they agreed.
I found myself walking the streets of New York oddly at peace. I don't really get the chance to just kick back and relax being, you know, me. Walking down a broad sidewalk of segmented concrete, I took in the sights, smells and sounds of the city. It being mid December, you could see and smell the warm steam billowing up from underground pipes. You could hear the countless cars roaring away from stoplights and the constantly changing horn tones from the number of different cars.
After weaving my way through crowds for a few blocks, I found one of the few benches without an old homeless man occupying them and sat down heavily. With me and my disguise of a simple grey beanie hiding my hair, and a pair of slightly over sized sunglasses hiding most of my upper face, I was unrecognizable by the masses walking by. Sitting on the bench, watching crowds of people pass; from smartly dressed business men, to the occasional kid in a hoodie. I sat there, thinking about all these people, staring at some passersby.
Some of them gave me quizzical looks, others looking backwards at me after they had passed, probably wondering if what they saw was their eyes trying to trick them. I should probably get moving again, before someone spots me. I thought to myself, and just as I was about to get up and leave, I turned my head and it was as if my world had all but stopped. Everything around me froze, and as this boy (he looked to be about my age) looked up from his iPod-esqe MP3 player, he saw me, our eyes locked, his gaze softening.
After a few seconds, I could tell my mouth was hanging open and my pupils had dilated. I pulled my jaw shut and snapped back to reality. He had obviously taken notice of my speechlessness and increased his stride length to reach me quicker. Wait a second. What was that? I was confused. That wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't attracted to men. I was sure of it.
There was just something about this boy, and I was determined to get the bottom of it. As he approached I examined his features intently. Even with a light jacket on, I could tell he had a slim build, about my height, maybe 5'5".
His slightly curly, almost black hair was shorter than most boys' these days, but not like, buzzed or anything.
His softly angled face lit up as he smiled at me, showing his blindingly white teeth. I could see his exposed skin was pale from lack of sunlight. I could feel a knot already building up in my throat as he neared.
I shook my head, trying to clear my brain and hide the motion at the same time. I don't understand. Why am I having these feelings?
What is it with this guy? He arrived, spun and sat on the bench next to me and said, in a clear voice, "Hi, I couldn't help but notice you staring at me.
I'm Tyler in case you were wondering." It was weird. Even though it sounded almost like a whisper, Tyler's voice was clearly heard over all the hustle and bustle. It was everywhere inside my head, almost as if we had a telepathic connection; his voice being projected into my mind.
As I formulated my next sentence in my mind, I could sense his blue eyes watching me, waiting intently for my response. God, I thought, I feel like his eyes are peering straight into my soul. It wasn't a bad thing, It warmed me up inside. I finally had a real person to talk to, not just some crazy screaming fan. I chanced it, and removed my glasses. "Sorry, didn't mean to stare. I, um, uh. Anyway, I'm Justin." I can't believe I couldn't remember what I was going to say to this guy. I was completely speechless.
"Oh, don't worry about it. The staring thing, I mean. Truth is, I was kind of staring at you too." he said, shying away for a second, then there was the inevitable awkwardness that follows two people who had just been staring at each other, but it soon dissipated as we got to know one another, learning of hobbies and the like.
Tyler was turning out to be a pretty cool guy. He made me feel like a normal kid again, you know, since before this whole famous thing. Not once did he mention to me my career. Did he even realize who I was? I couldn't really be sure. Despite that, I decided to invite him to the sound check for the upcoming show a few blocks away, and he gladly agreed. We talked, weaving our way through crowds of people, sometimes getting separated by the mobs.
For some reason, whenever I lost sight of Tyler, if only for a second or two, I would feel the grayness of the world press upon me, sending me into brief depression, only to be woken again by his beaming face looking at me. He was always smiling. It made me feel so good. The crowds thinned a little, and we walked on in silence.
I had no idea what he was thinking, but for me, it was as if my mind had been transported into a tornado, memories and thoughts being tossed about in the whirlwind. What am I feeling for this random stranger?
I feel like if he were to leave at all, I'm going to die of depression. Is it wrong to think that I have gay feelings toward a complete and utter stranger? I wonder if he feels the same way about me.
I think, secretly, I've always been gay deep down. I never really had any feelings for women. Those were all just superficial and shallow relationships. All through the sound check I was watching and thinking about Tyler.
Love? Did I love this boy? No, it couldn't be. I was singing and smiling at him, he was smiling back at me, sitting in the darkness of the front row. "Alright," my manager called from across the stage, "I think we're done here, go get some last minute rest before the show." I ditched my mic, and climbed down off the stage to meet Tyler, "So, what'd you think?" I asked.
"You know, I've always secretly liked your music," he replied, smiling still. I looked away from Tyler as my mother and Scooter walked up, "I don't believe we've been properly introduced, my name's Pattie." She extended her hand, and Tyler took it saying, "Pleased you meet you, Ms. Pattie, I'm Tyler." He flashed her a big smile, but not the same one he gave me. What did that mean? "So, you're Justin's new buddy, huh?" Scooter commented snidely.
"I suppose so, Mr. Braun." Tyler said, keeping his cool. See, Scooter never really like extra people tagging along. That's one of the main reasons I never had any friends on tour. He said they'd "get in the way.
Distract me." At this point, I took hold of Tyler's upper arm and started to pull him away saying, "Alright, let's go, I gotta rest, remember?" Glancing at all of them, I turned and pulled Tyler behind me, him waving. "Sorry dude. Scooter doesn't really like outsiders, you know?" "Oh, I get it.
I was just trying to be polite, that's all," he said defensively. At that point, as we were still walking to a break room with snacks and the like, I noticed I was still latched onto Tyler's toned arm. Although he didn't seem to notice at first, I let go and took a big step away from him.
He glanced over, and gave a slight, almost imperceptible frown. I pretended I didn't notice, and just walked in awkward silence. Walking through the door, I asked, headed for the fridge, "Want a snack? We've got everything in here." "Got a pudding?" he asked, jokingly.
I turned and tossed him a pudding and a spoon. Although he was standing there with his hands in his pockets, he somehow managed to catch both objects.
Tyler suddenly looked really nervous, looking around the room more than normal, shifting his weight back and forth. I brushed past him and threw myself down on the couch, patting the seat next to me saying, "Have a seat. Relax." Part of me wanted him to cuddle up next to me, but I still wasn't sure if he felt the same way about me that I felt about him. "Why are you nervous?" I said, as he tentatively sat down next to me.
"I'm the one going on stage in front of thousands of people." "Well. It's like this. I, erm. Oh, screw it!" He leaned over and landed a kiss smack on my lips. I have to admit, at first I was completely surprised, and so like the idiot I am, I started to pull away.
Evidently, he'd noticed and decided he better break the contact before he thought I was going to punch him or something. So as he started to back away, I moved forward, keeping the kiss going.
He relaxed. Still kissing me, he put his hand behind my head, running his fingers through my short hair. I took a chance and licked his lips to gain access to his mouth with my tongue. Apparently, that was a mistake on my part because he almost immediately backed away, looking at me, with a kind of sad face. I looked at him and realized, with a sudden pang of guilt, I was about to make out with another guy.
Maybe that's what Tyler's problem was; so I asked him, "What's up?" "Don't you think we're moving a bit too fast? I mean I literally just met you a little while ago, and we were just about to make out on your couch." he said, starting to appear a bit flustered. "I had a feeling I was being a bit too forward." I said, looking down at my shoes.
"Don't worry about it," he put his arm around me and hugged me close. "I was the one who kissed you."