"Well Jamie, why don't we start at the beginning?" "Erm, I don't know if I can Dr. Sanderson." "Come now, how do you expect me to help you if you don't tell me anything?" "Well it's just. it might get to me." "I'm sure it's not that bad!" "Trust me, it is!" "Very well; just start off with your name." "Alright, erm.
here goes." Jamie Landers, 15, born in Madeira, Portugal. Twin brother called Scott. 5 foot 8. My parents died shortly after we were born, too soon for us to be named. Fostered and eventually named by an English taxi driver and his exploited housewife. Awful parents, they really were.
I don't think I ever had a happy day with them in my life. He only married her for sex, and she only married him for his friends. They only fostered us to get more money from the school allowance. Life is hell with them. We only lived in a small flat in Hackney, that's how successful they weren't. Four rooms: two bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom, the end.
It reeked as they both smoked and never properly emptied the bins, even after sex; which they constantly had. It's awful waking up to the sound for 14 years running like a pregnant hippo giving birth to 12 cacti at the same time. Which probably explains why I'm gay, that sound just put me off women forever.
I have to say, if it weren't for my brother I wouldn't be here right now. He taught me everything. Yes I was older by 14 minutes, but he was always more emotionally strong.
When I would break down into floods of tears, he'd be there hugging me better. Whenever the dreadful sounds would leak through the walls at night, he'd be there to cover my ears and nurse me to sleep. Whenever our fake parents would threaten me, he'd be there to defend for me. I love him so much. I could never live without him. It was one Tuesday afternoon in July when I asked him why he was so much stronger than me.
Not just emotionally, he took to working out much more seriously than I did. I was just skin and bones compared to him now. He said that it was probably because of our fake parents giving him a hard time as a baby. I was apparently their favourite as I cried less. He even showed me a deep scar on the back of his head where our fake father had hit him so hard, it started bleeding.
He said he remembered it well; he was only 14 months old. I felt so sorry for him, being trapped in this hell of a life. But he's so strong now; he could probably throw our fake father to his death. He must have amazing self control to stop himself. It wasn't long after that talk that I lashed out at our fake parents. I'd got so angry about how disgusting they were to each other; you know domestic violence to an extreme sort of thing.
I was only 13 and very nearly got a frying pan smashed against my brain. But Scott came to the rescue and managed to push me into the sofa before the horrible collision. I was so in awe of his strength and the fact that he possibly had just saved my life.
As if it wasn't enough, he then got up to fight against our fake father until he gave up and went to shag his cow of a wife again. Scott was so angry after it, I remember seeing his face as he turned round once they'd left. He genuinely felt it was his duty to protect us from the monsters that were our fake parents.
Of course we didn't just sit there and take it. Every night, Scott would walk down to the phone box and call for help. Once he'd got through to Childline, but they never sent anyone. That must have been about 2 years ago now. Still no-one has come, no-one to free us. Scott never gets as upset as me, he just channels it into his intense work outs he does after school. I'm really envious of him; I look so pathetic every time I cry that our lives are a nightmare; and he can just stand it, so heroic and brave.
He's just so amazing. It was our 14th birthdays when things got too much for me to handle. Our fake parents had given us some money so we could do something for our birthdays every year up till then.
But that time, it seemed like they'd just forgotten. We came home from school, really excited about what we could do this year. We'd even got a really good plan about it once we got through the door. Our excitement didn't go down well.
And the special day just turned into another ordinary day. Shouting, arguments, Scott even got a whack in the face for good measure.
We were both devastated, but as usual both expressed in different ways. Scott was furious, and I once again had a tearful fit in bed that night. It was the worst day of my life. I was generally convinced I would jump from the 8th floor window. But Scott managed to pin me back down into my bed. It was then when he kissed me.
It wasn't just a peck on the cheek, it was a passionate kiss. I remember feeling stunned. My tears stopped and didn't fight against him. He recoiled back and we stared at each other's eyes. I couldn't believe it, my first kiss, with my own twin. But suddenly I saw it, this was the way we can channel our frustration.
We only had each other; no-one else would care for us as much as we did. I love him; I love him more than anything else in the world. I kissed him back, and we really got into the kiss this time. I've never kissed anyone else before, so I can only assume he is a seriously good kisser.
I can remember getting a fantastic sensation in my pyjama shorts. It didn't help with Scott really pushing against me though. He felt warm and hard underneath his shorts, and he was gently pressing it against me. It felt really good though; almost like something was about to burst from my shorts. Scott then took off his top, and even for a 14 year old he looked extremely fit.
The many hours of laps around Hackney and karate in the gym really paid off. I felt a twinge of jealousy in my crotch. I then reached up with my hands to caress his masculine frame.
He had massive pectorals and a well defined six-pack. That's how trying his experience has been, it's driven him to manhood at 14. He really liked me feeling his body; he could tell I was jealous.
All he did was gasp and look deep into my eyes. I was his older brother, and he loved me. He then took hold of my shivering hand. He guided it down to his shorts, which looked like there was something bursting to get out. I took hold of it, and he gasped right in my ear. It was his cock. It felt weird to know that I was giving my brother a handjob, but I loved him and I loved his reaction to it even more. I can remember rubbing my hands right up and down his thick rod.
It was heaven for him, as he told me afterwards. He told me to play with the head as it was more sensitive. So I did and his shorts got damp.
After kissing me some more he went down to examine my own boner. I didn't look as big as him when he pulled the fabric down.
But he still looked pleased by it because he then starting licking at it. Don't ask me how he knew what he was doing but he was so good at it. I think I even asked him, and he said he'd saw one happen in school. I wish I was there to see it; it must look so good from the outside. But it can't be good as living it.
I had the only guy I love eating up my own hard-on cock. Oh yeah, it was Scott who taught me these words then too. It felt like heaven, I couldn't believe it. It was my first blowjob but I automatically knew that Scott was a very good cocksucker. He wrapped his hand around the base of my cock and started to pump my cock while the head was in his mouth.
As he sucked on my cock I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling. Scott loved it too, every so often he'd growl with my cock in his mouth. Soon I couldn't take it much longer and I was cumming in his mouth. I was lost for words as I saw my twin swallow every last drop. He took my hand, as he slyly grinned and licked his face dry.
I can remember him looking into my eyes as he offered to fuck me.
My complete adoration was translated into total lust for my stud of a brother. As if to answer his question, I pulled down his shorts. Our faces were still touching, so we could both see our expressions of pure ecstasy as he forced his meat inside me.
He simply let one hot gasp run down my neck, and I had to bite at my brother's hard neck to stop myself screaming too loud.
He didn't feel the pain; he was too busy forcing 8 inches of dick up my ass. Even while we were at the pinnacle of lust, he still had time to care for me, asking me whether I was alright every time I groaned. Rest assured he still loved me even while he was fucking me.
I thought the sucking off was heaven, but in fact I was wrong. This was absolute heaven! The fiery friction inside me drove my cock into a spewing overload.
What was I later learned as precum soaked my waist. Scott noticed tears roll down my face and he once again asked if I was alright. I told him that they were tears of joy. What was a couple of hours ago complete hell, had become the best night of my life. Scott then retreated from me a sprayed a huge load over me. The warmth was so satisfying, and so was seeing Scott express his feelings over me in a fantastic way. He even took the duty of licking me clean again. I never thought I'd see him enjoy the taste of his own sperm.
Once he'd finished, he just rested his head on my shoulder, and we fell suddenly into peace. The transformation was quite startling; my brother was earlier such a frenzy of hormones. Yet now he was back to his peaceful loving self. A brother of two amazing sides, I was in love.
This seemed to set a precedent for the night to come. Every night when one of us was feeling lower than normal, we'd experiment further. By the time it came to our 15th birthdays, we'd done pretty much everything, even sneaking in toys so we knew everything there was to know. It never got boring, it was new every night and it always felt amazing. I genuinely started to think life wasn't going too badly with my brother at hand.
But I was wrong. Things started to turn for the worst. I can never forget that feeling when Scott told me he had a boyfriend from school. I was heartbroken, but then I wasn't surprised. My brother was the fittest guy I've seen in my life, and he's really sweet too. I ended up crying myself to sleep, and Scott seemed disappointed I didn't want him to fuck me again. I felt really bad for the next two weeks.
I couldn't believe my own brother left me. I kept getting worried he'd have sex with this new guy instead of me. The thought just made it worse. But Scott just kept assuring me nothing was done. It got to the point where he started to get bored of my questions. Then I got the shock of my life. For some reason, I forget what; Scott had got home before me; early enough for him to have sneaked his boyfriend in and got themselves both naked with Scott's cock in his boyfriend's mouth.
My heart shattered. I was physically frozen on the spot with shock. Scott looked it too; with an equally surprised face on he blew a huge load into his new partner's mouth. With him silenced Scott had some explaining to do. It would take come pretty strong words for him to dig himself out of this one. But what he actually did was invite me to tease his new boyfriend, by showing him what we had done many nights before.
The idea of really tormenting the guy whole stole Scott from me actually quite got to me. I instantly went from shock to horny, and I was hard before Scott had got my clothes off. The new guy, who I was introduced to as Declan; was nowhere near the amount of hotness as my brother, although once he got it out, he really did have a nice dick; very fat and looked good to taste! He really knew how to pump it too; he worked it up so it was practically exploding even while Scott and I were just kissing.
What must it have been like for him? Two versions of his boyfriend having hardcore sex in front of him! It felt different putting a show on for someone else, but I had the satisfaction of knowing that my brother still wanted sex with me. Our love felt completely restored after sucking each other off, him licking my ass and pounding me to seventh heaven. He even said that night that he preferred having me suck him off rather than Declan.
I felt so happy I had to do it again. The feeling never lasted. A mere 5 days after that and I got another much harder shock of my life. A Saturday morning and I had just walked in after doing my newspaper rounds. I heard the sound of my brother gasping in a really orgasmic way.
Maybe if he was masturbating I could get to give another blowjob to him! I went to find him on his bed, but not how I ever thought I'd catch him. Just like last time there was someone else with him. And just like last time my heart shattered at the sight; but a lot, lot harder. It was a girl who was with him. He had his face buried in her upturned skirt, and he was groaning madly as if he was enjoying it more than anything.
Worse still I was so quiet they didn't notice me at first, and I had to endure seeing my brother taking pleasure from a girl. Tears were welling up in my eyes by the time they both noticed. Not only had the love of my life cheated on me, but now he was cheating on his boyfriend. I thought I could look up to my twin as a role model.
But now he's a cheater, and he's turning away from me. Scott couldn't offer me to join in now; he saw the pain he caused in me. I simply couldn't believe it. My life had shattered right in front of my eyes.