Forever Loss (Chapter 1) I sat looking out the window at a cold, grey world. My heart was in pieces after reading the angry, hateful email from my soul mate. She had accused me of wrong doing, thanks all to a manipulative friend of hers whom had expressed her own interest in me. This all came about just four days before she was to have traveled to have been with me, a new life and lasting love that was meant to be through all eternity.
The emptiness in my heart and soul was beyond description. It felt as though I was falling, just falling down a deep dark endless pit with no hope of hitting the bottom, no hope to stop my fall. Longingly I looked at the photo of my now lost love that I held in my right hand. Slowly I turned my head, feeling no emotion I stared at the bottle of pills in my left hand. The loss of my love was soul crushing and the only thought in my mind was if I cannot be with her in life, perhaps God would have mercy on my soul and we would be reunited in another life.
Gently I place her photo down on the table next to my bed. I smiled at her as tears flowed from my eyes and I poured out the pills in my hand.
With no other thought, consumed with only the pain of my broken heart I swallowed the pills. Lovingly I took hold of the photo, laying back down in my bed, I laid her photo on chest, over my heart.
There I laid, closing my eyes, my only thoughts were of her and my love flowing from the broken pieces of my heart. I awoke to an eerie silence. I was in my bed, dust covered everything in the room except for my body. Was I alive? I shouldn't be. Was this my punishment, my hell?
I sat up, experiencing a very odd sense of disorientation. Looking around the room it seemed as though the power was out. I grabbed my phone to look at the time and date but I found it dead.
I slid out of my bed, stumbling I bit as I moved to my bedroom door. The haunting silence sent a cold chill down my spine. I staggered from room to room checking the power finding everything was off. I made my way down the stA.I.rs to my front door. I stepped outside as I would have done any other time to see if the entire neighborhood was out of power.
I was greeted to a shock of all my senses. First, I was hit by the odd silence, no sounds of car or of people. Then the smell hit my olfactory sense. It was a very odd sweet smell. I stood in my doorway looking and listening and there was no sound of people, just the birds. I walked down the street, looking at the homes and that is when a sense of dread came over me.
I saw homes with their front doors wide open, belonging strewn across the yards. Then as I rounded the corner I saw several cars, doors wide open, one crashed into another. Cautiously I approached the cars preparing myself for what I would see. As I got closer I began to notice more indications that this was beyond the ordinary.
The cars were not running, nor did I hear the chime of the open door warning alert. When I reached the car, expecting to find a person or even a body I found nothing!
There was no indications that anyone had been in the cars. I checked the ignition finding the keys in it and that the car was on when this incident occurred. As I surveyed the car I saw belongings hastily stuffed into suitcases.
I went from car to car examining each one making the same findings. I decided to venture into another home. I made my way to the nearest home with the front door wide open.
I had this odd 'ringing' in my ears…or more like a strange conversation in my mind, one that was just at the level that I could ascertain it was a conversation but I could not make out the words, it was at that time that I became aware of the burning in my chest. I popped my head into the door calling out, 'Hello…anyone here?' I was greeted by silence.
Cautiously I made my way through that home finding the same as in my home, no power, no people, and dust and cob webs. I started to wonder if I was dead or was I alive. If I was alive, how long had I been in my bed? Then my thoughts immediately went to end of the world thoughts, something has happened to people…to humans on the planet. Moving quickly I left the home, standing in the middle of the front yard I yelled at the top of my lungs, "HELLO!" I listened for a response and my ears were greeted with silence.
"IS ANYONE HERE?" More deafening silence. I thought for a moment that was probably the dumbest thing I could have done as I probably brought attention to myself. My thoughts then went to my love…was she gone like everyone else?
That is when I noticed I was scratching my chest, my left breast where I had a medical device implanted. I look down my shirt and found that area was bright red…almost glowing as well as it was very warm to the touch.
The 'conversation' in my mind grew louder but still out of reach to understand the words. I made my way back to my home, to my own car.
I assumed it would not start by at this point I had nothing to lose. I needed to get out of my confined neighborhood to investigate how far spread this was. I sat in my car and tried starting it with no luck. There was no power. 'How long have I been out if this is reality?' I thought to myself.
Then I my mind wandered to the other possibility that this was not reality. Then I thought, if this was some sort of horrible dream I could still control my dream as I had done in the past. I placed my hand on the ignition, I pictured power flowing from my body to the car and picturing it starting. I felt a very a strong surge, my body felt as if it was warming like a piece of metal in a forge.
For a moment I felt as though a spot light had been shown on me, as though a million eyes were focused on myself. At that moment my car started and those odd sensations disappeared.
Slowly I drove down the street, expecting some child to dart out in front my car. I looked from house to house seeing the same things. Homes left open, belongings strewn around the yards, cars either in the driveway or in the road as if someone had just left them there. As I made my way to the highway the scene only became more disheartening.
I saw cars and trucks all over the road, crashed into other vehicles or into buildings.
Several buildings had burnt down and by observation it had been a long time. I saw no smoking, no signs of smoldering. I thought aloud, 'My God, what happened? How long was I dead?' I made my way to the highway, dodging around the cars that had been left all over the roads.
I still saw no signs of people…no signs of human life. I glanced up into the sky, looking for jet trA.I.ls, planes or helicopters but I only saw birds soaring through the sky, singing away. At one moment I thought I had seen something moving in through the clouds that was man-made however my eyes pulled from their skyward gaze so I could dodge another car in the middle of the road.
I drove slowly along the highway scanning the building, subdivisions and horizon. The scene repeated itself, although I did see black smoke coming from the city. I assumed it was just more burning buildings from unchecked fires. As I drove my thoughts kept drifting back to my love, my Marina. In the back of my mind a song was playing over and over again. The song was Autumn Winds from Jeff Wayne's musical version of War of the Worlds.
I began to lose myself in thoughts of my soul mate, her touch, her scent, her voice. The pain in my heart resurfaced as did all the love for her. I nearly ran into a roadblock on the highway as I thought of my love. It was several destroyed military vehicles. Slamming on my brakes, I stopped looking at the destruction. It was the first time I had seen any bodies, burnt skeletons but a first sign of humans. Oddly, I noticed that my thoughts about the skeletons was more analytical than emotional.
Placing my car in park, I stepped out to examine the scene. Whatever destroyed the combat vehicles was precise but not explosive. The skeletons appeared to have been struck by some odd weapon. Parts of the rib cage and skulls had signs of being burned through.
Suddenly I felt as if I was two personas in one.
I should have been horrified but what I saw but instead I was analyzing the scene, the damage, the bodies as if I was gathering data. Then I noticed the 'voices' in mind had become quiet, almost as if they merged into one voice. Again I had this feeling as though millions of eyes were looking at me.
I walked to my car just thinking about the scene behind my back, my thoughts running to Marina. I prayed she was still alive but in my heart I knew she was taken from me again.
At this point I found myself having an odd mental conversation. One part of my mind was telling me to go back a take a weapon for protection. That side of my mind was saying I was making the classic movie mistake by not taking one. The other side of my mind, the logical side thought, and those weapons did nothing to save those military personnel so there would be no point for me take one along. I drove down the highway deciding to circle around the city.
My thoughts kept wandering back to Marina, the life I dreamed for us. My heart was torn again between my love and emptiness. If this was real…was she dead…did she suffer…could she possibly be alive somewhere. I had this odd feeling, a feeling I was being observed.
I glanced up into the sky again and saw two objects far above me. I just had a feeling, a thought that I was being observed. A feeling of dread came over me. I felt that whatever it was I was now a target and it would only be a matter of time before whatever unknown entity came for me. Suddenly I slammed on the brakes as if some reflex had kicked in.
"What the fuck." I yelled aloud to nobody. Now I heard the voice clearly in my mind telling me to get out of my car and observe. My body felt as though it was a fire, my thoughts were processing at lighting speed. I felt now as though I lost control of all motor function in my body; I was just a passenger in my own body.
My body took me to the edge of the highway, looking out over at a field between to small wooded areas. The voice in my head spoke one word, 'Observe.' I watched, feeling as though I could not do anything else.
That is when I saw a person come running out of the wooded area. I observed the person running as fast as they could while glancing over their shoulder.
I wanted to shout out to them but for some reason I could not, I could only just observe the scene unfolding before me. The person was about mid-way in the field when I observed a dark, swarming cloud appear from the wooded area from where the person had come from. To me, the cloud looked as though it was a large swarm of bees albeit being swarm about seven feet in height and four feet in width.
I watched the swarm move effortlessly towards the running human. The swarm caught up with the human just before they had made it into the other wooded area.
The individual glanced over their shoulder one last time, frozen in place.
I heard them let out a loud shriek as the swarm encompassed them. Then there was an eerie silence and the swarm moved off. Where the human had been standing there was nothing. No body, no clothes, nothing. It was as if the person had never existed. I did not feel horrified, shocked or frightened which was odd within itself. I felt nothing. Then I noted that I had not even paid attention or even cared if the person had been a male or female. I felt no emotions for a moment.
Then like a balloon popping my thoughts darted to Marina and I wondered if this is what had happened to her. My heart sunk at the thought of that happening to her. No matter what I had transpired between us my love for her was beyond expression. I would have done anything for her, to protect her and if she was still alive somewhere I would find her and protect her. I was snapped from my dream world to the realization that the swarm was now moving towards me.
I stood along the highway just watching the swarm move towards me. Again I felt no fear, no emotions at all. When the swarm moved within a few feet of myself I felt my body surge with an odd power as well as a sense of pure rage. I assumed that maybe I was still dreaming and I just thought or knew I could stop what was about to happen.
I stretched out my arm, raising my hand at the swarm. My chest burned like a steel mill furnace. The feeling moved through my body down my arm and out through my hand.
I felt a pulsation emanated from my extended hand, the swarm before me stopped. As the pulses grew, the swarm before me began to compress.
My thoughts were like a river flowing in one direction, one thought preservation. For some odd reason my thoughts then drifted to one word, one memory, Marina.
I became enraged, consumed in a firestorm of anger. I thought about her, I thought about how our relationship ended, the cause of it. Then I thought of her being consumed by this swarm. I pictured my rage as a monster, Godzilla in fact.
As I was consumed in my rage I had not noticed what was happening to the swarm. I continued to compress it, crushing it into a smaller and smaller ball. My rage over flowed, drowning my thoughts in pure boiling anger. I was snapped from my rage, the explosion from the swarm so close me should have injured me or at least knocked me back. With just a thought, 'shield', not only did I feel but I saw a barrier encompass my body as the fragments and energy from the blast rolled around my body.
I observed it happening in slow motion, time nearly slowing down. Once the blast had dissipated the feeling of being observed washed over me again. This time it was not just that strange feeling of being watched, at this moment I knew I had the full attention of someone.
A monotone voice spoke in my head, 'Threat detected. Level one, engage and extinguish'. I stood there, motionless just thinking about what I had just witnessed. I thought about my love how the last words spoken between us were ones of anger. How I wished I could take it all back.
I wish for one more chance to see her, be with her and to tell her I was sorry.
However, after what I had just seen and done; I lost all hope she was even still alive. I walked back to my car to continue my journey and as for this voice, I thought my response.
'Please come and try. You took my beloved and I will have vengeance.'